There is such a thing as a Fannish Boner, and what’s worse is that you can pop it at any time, even in inappropriate situations. It is just as visible as an actual boner, because your eyes go all wide and shiny and you get this maniacal grin on your face and you start spouting uncontrollable streams of fandom jargon that no one around you understands, except for that One Person, if you’re lucky enough to find them. You might accidentally impregnate someone with your fandom. You might spread it like a disease until several people around you end up suffering from the same condition.
The only condom available for the fannish boner is the tin hat, but it somehow makes things worse. Attending a con has the same effect on the fannish boner as Viagra does on actual boners, but it also increases your chances of meeting that One Person. Or Several Persons. Or a Horde. The experience will ruin you for life. No matter where else you pop your fannish boner, you will always wish you were popping it at a con. Where it can get some goddamn action.
Welcome to fandom.